I have been banned from blogging by people I love:
"DON'T blog about that!"
"DO NOT put that in your blog."
"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't write about that."
So the following is a true event using a fictional character that nobody will recognize:
Guzaza (not her real name – I'm not allowed to use her real name for reasons that will soon become apparent) hadn't eaten all day, so I fed her some hot wings and bade her farewell into the night.
As I stood in my doorway with my back door still open, Guzaza stood on the steps and, from the depths of her stomach, let out a belch that could have come from a 600 pound man who had just consumed an entire pot of chili. I had never, in my life, heard one that was so loud and took so long to come out of a little 110 pound body.
Apparently neither had the porch full of neighbors across the street who were now all completely focused on her, their mouths stuck in the open and awed position.
Unfortunately I had already shut and locked my door when she noticed them staring at her. So she pulled and tugged at my door and begged me to let her back in.
"Not until I can blog about this," I yelled through the door.
I'm kidding (about what I said, not about what happened). That's all. You will never guess who she is, because I have completely disguised her by calling her Guzaza.