Tuesday, June 30, 2009

June was QUITE a month! PHEW!

If you read my article, Children in Distress – Depressed and Anxious, and you paid attention to the last two children I wrote about, you will discover what MOST of my June encompassed. NEVER have I encountered anything like it, and I hope NEVER to encounter it again. Their erratic moods and behaviors threatened to permanently destroy the peace that usually permeates my home, and their behavior was affecting the behavior of the other children in my care whose parents were NOT happy when their children exhibited the new (and unwanted) behaviors.

So while I'm happy they are gone, I can't help but wonder what will become of them. I sincerely LOVE children, but these two needed more help than I could offer them and I certainly hope the State follows through with getting them the help they DESPERATELY need. So so sad for those kids.

I'm sure my intensity about the situation shows. As a result of that intensity and the awful stress I was under I felt I needed something lighter and so, to lighten my mood considerably, I wrote July 21 – National Crazy Day. Please read it and comment. It probably makes me sound like I have numerous personalities (do I?) because while I have written on the "lighter side" I normally write about important warnings and heart wrenching issues. I do hope you enjoy this new side of me, normally reserved for close personal friends, and family. Um, you may decide I should keep it for only those people. If so, let me know.

The photo, by the way, was taken back in February (I believe) of 2008 when sweet Scarlett Johansson visited the troops in Iraq. My son is pictured to HER left.

Sunday, June 21, 2009


Mine. I AM CLUMSY. Obviously. For as long as I can remember, I have fallen UP the stairs (only once have I fallen down the stairs), I am forever bumping into furniture, people crash into me all the time, I have a persistent swollen right foot, one of my grandsons accidentally stomped on my left foot twice (note the bruise), another grandson throws balls at my face, and bugs bite me like I'm a feast at a barbecue.

Maybe it's because I don't take care of myself. After all, look at those disgusting toenails. Shouldn't I at least keep up with pedicures?

And shouldn't I examine my life – WHY do balls keep bashing me in the face (OK, I see where you're going with this – I meant the kinds of balls you play with – OH STOP!)

Anyway, after examining my life, I've come to the conclusion that I have a tremendous magnetic field around me. People and things are just naturally attracted to me. As a matter of fact they are SO attracted to me they can't help but fly at the speed of light toward me. I don't fall INTO furniture. Furniture falls into ME.

So I guess the message from the Universe is to stop being so darned attractive. I mean, who wouldn't want legs like these, right?

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

As Seen On Oprah

Have you been tempted to take advantage of a FREE TRIAL because of what you perceive to be a celebrity endorsed product? Before you end up losing your life savings, click below:

Saturday, June 6, 2009

My first videoblog

This is a test. This is only a test, and really – honestly? It truly is just a test. 

Even though this is my first venture into the video blogging world, I would like to welcome you to my first video blog and ask that you not expect much. This is, after all, my first (and possibly my last) attempt. I learned it today and I taught it to myself. Have I prepared you enough for its infantile look?

Because I am not a public speaker, the video program would not allow me to fill dead space (nobody knows when my mind goes off on tangents when I type), and also would not let me disguise it, at least not in anyway I could figure out in one day, so I experimented by filling in the gaps of my speech and brain loss with other things, as you will see.

In any event, I can't wait to download it to see how it works (or doesn't) – don't expect a lot of flash and creativity – as I said, this is my first. 

By the way, that handsome young man to the right is my grandson, Travis, who learned this a long time ago, but never told me how he did it.

 Here goes: 

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I could have used this when I was going through my divorce

When I was going through my divorce, this song was still popular. I cried every time I heard it, wallowing in self-pity as I dragged myself to my job, wiping my eyes and reapplying my makeup before I arrived – every single day for months.

Today, however, as a result of the following video, I will be laughing uproariously every time I watch this version of the song that used to bring me to my knees.

I would like to thank Persephone Maewyn for creating this warped second version of Bonnie Tyler’s song.

And for those of you with warped minds as well, I invite you to watch the actual video first and THEN the – ahem! – I hesitate calling it a remake, so I will call it the total collapse of an art (drum roll please):

Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart




Monday, June 1, 2009

Weekend of Fashion

I ... um... 

Oh, just spit it out – OK, FINE! I HAVE NO FASHION SENSE! OK?


My children, however (well, three of them anyway), make up for my loss. When my daughter, Lindsey, FINALLY decided to follow her true calling (fashion merchandising) and asked me to accompany her to the Open House held at The Illinois Institute of Art in Chicago this past weekend, I gladly went, because even though I know nothing of fashion, I wanted to support her and encourage her to follow her dream. 

One of the instructors focused her attention on me, probably because she noticed the glazed-over effect in my eyes – how could any woman NOT be interested in fashion? I pretended I understood what they were discussing when, in fact, I felt as if I were at some kind of museum where all the artifacts came from some abstract continent located in a different world.

Lindsey saw somebody's handbag and whispered, "Do you know how much that bag cost?" I looked over at the purse and sighed, "I don't know, a hundred dollars?" Uh – that's a Bottega Veneta! If she had said it was a broccoli carrot, I would have known as much.

And then one of the instructors mentioned how Betsy Ross – was that her name? – was going to be in town and "Wow! Can you imagine being in the same room as Betsy Ross?"

And I'm thinking, didn't she design the flag? Is she still alive? I wouldn't know the woman if she fell on me.

Of course she was talking about Betsey Johnson – I think – that was the name that came up when I googled "fashion and Betsy" (maybe she's Betsy Ross reincarnated). But I knew Lindsey would be happy to meet her.

The directors and instructors went on to discuss the benefits of the school, how it was in such close proximity to the Merchandise Mart – right next door with a walkway connecting the two buildings. Housing was available and close by. Actually, everything they discussed sounded perfect for Lindsey. 

And so, for my Lindsey, I am very happy! Three years from now, she will be where she was always destined to be – in the fashion world – a world as foreign to me as Mars, but close enough for us to still get together often.