Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The Butt Race into Old Age: Fighting Gravity

I realized something this morning. A couple of weeks ago, my youngest daughter purchased a shirt for me. I thanked her, and I wore it without giving it much thought. At the end of the day I took it off.

And then (shudder) I noticed something unusual about the shirt. Without thinking (that was my first mistake), I realized that I had taken from her a shirt that practically SCREAMED, "Old Lady!"

Was it true? Had I suddenly become an old lady? Was the slip into old age so subtle that I automatically slipped on an "old lady" shirt without giving any consideration whatsoever to the way I looked in the old lady shirt?

But what's worse is that she thought it would look good on me. Well, yeah, because you're old, she practically taunted me (without saying a word, but she spoke volumes with that shirt). 

What has become of me? Next thing you know, I'll be putting on flower-printed muu-muus, dying my hair pitch black, putting dark black eyebrow pencil on my eyebrows, and encircling my cheeks with rouge. 

And the fact that I called it rouge instead of blush further indicates my slip into old age.

Yes, that's exactly how it happens. We SLIP into old age, our bodies sagging into the ground in an attempt to slide six feet under before we are ready, and we drag our butts back up and say, NOT YET, fighting gravity with all our mights just to keep our bodies above ground.


And so, it is with dignity and grace that I pull my jowls back up into my face, the flab back into my stomach and butt, and exercise the muscles that are racing to the floor.

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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Just Rub My Tummy

My four-year-old grandson, Zac, along with his brother, Kaden, and sister, Taylor, spent three nights with me last week. And every night, when it was time to go to sleep, Zac wanted to sleep with me. What "sleeping" with Zac entails is Grandma rubbing his tummy so he can fall asleep.

After the third night of being – first with 3 kids, then with 8 kids, then with 6 kids – 3 days in a row, I was exhausted, so on the third night of his stay, I told him, "Zac, Grandma is too tired to rub your tummy until you fall asleep.

Being the sweet gentleman he is, he offered me an option – "That's OK, you can just put you hand on my tummy."

He sure has grown. When he was two years old, he had to have his whole body resting on mine before he could fall asleep. I talk about that time in The Symbol of a Grandma's LoveYou'll see the symbol in this blog as well, though to get an explanation, you'll have to read the other blog.

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Hubby Talk

Thanks for the post from Rashad Townsend

I talked to my husband about getting some dish packages for the house so we could institute a family movie night which I think would be a good way for us to get together on a regular basis. I want to find a way to keep our kids in the house as much as possible so we can keep tabs on them since they’re getting into their teens and I don’t really love the crowd they’re hanging around with. I can only imagine what it’s like to have kids who are totally off the rocker but for us it’s all about keeping a bond with them while they still like us and I think this movie night is a good way to do that. The kids are going to get to choose the movies because I know if we make them watch stuff they don’t want to they’re going to revolt against movie night. I really wish we could just hold them in our arms until they grow up and become good adults!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

My Grandchildren Present a Christmas Song for Me

Only 5 of them participated, but thank you, Taylor, Kaden, Zac, Audrey, and Nolan

Baby Talk

I tried posting this video on Facebook, but after numerous attempts, gave up and decided to post it in this blog. Hopefully, it will show up here.

What you see is 8 of my grandchildren. Avery, my 3 month old granddaughter, talks to her grandma.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Audrey's Story July 2011

My granddaughter, Audrey, was six and a half years old when she wrote the following story. I promised her I would post it, but got interrupted. Here is the story she wrote last summer:

All she wants for Christmas is her two front teeth, her two front teeth, her two front teeth...
There was a little girl. Her name was Sarah. She was the worst baseball player ever, so she wanted to practice catching balls. She kept on missing. But then she got it. She caught it ten times in a row.

She practiced batting with her coach. She kept on missing, but then she hit a home run. So she wanted to play baseball.

She was outfield. She caught all of the balls. Then it was her turn to bat. She always hit a home run out of the park. She was turning into the best player ever. Everybody cheered for her.

The end. 

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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Zac Remembers Being In The Womb

Zac and Kaden visiting their Dad in Virginia
My youngest granddaughter, Avery, was born a couple of months ago. When I discussed Avery's birth with Zac, who was still 3 at the time, I told him that Avery was no longer in her mommy's tummy.

"I know," Zac responded. "It was fun being in my mommy's tummy."

Playing along, I said, "You remember being in your mommy's tummy?"


"What did you do in your mommy's tummy?" I wanted to know.

" I was a crazy psycho boy," Zac responded.

"A crazy psycho boy?" I laughed.

"Yeah, it was fun. It was like wrestling in a tent."

"Who were you wrestling with?"


Because he was an extremely active infant before he was born, I could find no argument with his memory of being a "crazy psycho boy" in his mommy's tummy, and when he added that it was, "like wrestling in a tent," I couldn't help but wonder how he related being wrapped in a tent and kicking his way out of it to being in his mommy's tummy.

I think his experience requires more investigation ;)

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