Well, the simple answer is, "Don't worry. Be Happy." And so, in my most positive voice, I'm going to look at myself and my life and discuss one thing I truly love about myself.
I love the way I walk aimlessly around the house as if every time I enter another room I enter a different dimension or portal that closes the door to one part of my brain and opens the door to a completely different area, one unfamiliar to me, though I've probably visited it nearly a million times before.
It's as if the world around me changes as I walk through my home, and everything I was thinking disappears from my mind as I leave one room and enter another. I often feel as if I live in my own Alice in Wonderland world. As I enter a new room, all intentions of why I entered that room are merely mysteries I'm left to solve. And so I play Nancy Drew as I examine my reasons for being, not only who I am, but also where I am.
For example, just the other morning, I walked through the kitchen to get to the laundry room, because just before the previous interruption (frequent occurrence in my minute-by-minute play), I was removing items from the washer to put into the dryer, but on the way to the laundry room I noticed a cup that belonged in the sink, so I rinsed out the cup and placed it on the counter next to the sink and then remembered I was doing laundry, so I returned to my bedroom to get my sheets but then remembered I couldn't put them into the washing machine, because I hadn't completely emptied the washer yet.
This tiny little snipped of my life is played out all day long. Interruption followed by interruption interrupted by interruption. The reason I was washing clothes in the first place was because this morning my robe fell into the toilet. I had wanted to wash my sheets, but now I had to interrupt my schedule to wash…
Schedule? I laugh. What a funny word. Schedules are merely guidelines I follow – and not very well either. Even the days of the week don't apply to me, because while everybody else thinks they're spending Wednesday living their lives, I'm either still on Tuesday or living in Thursday's time zone.
Just today I realized I was spinning in the kitchen. I often spin – not because I'm trying to make myself dizzy, but because every time I turn around, half the room appears to disappear and my intentions with it. I'm like my own personal planet revolving around an imaginary sun.
So as I remember where I was planning on going and what I was planning on doing, I spin around to take care of the matter, but then I forget what the matter is and return to my original space, pre-spin.
And that's what I love about myself. I keep myself endlessly entertained. I used to get angry with myself for forgetting everything. But now I laugh when I get turned over to collection agencies for forgetting to pay my bills. I laugh when the waiter brings liver when I ordered crab.
I even laugh at insanity when I see its wild unrecognizable form in my mirror.
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I love this post. I think it's wonderful we can play nicely all by ourselves. And also that you have learned to love this idiosyncracy about yourself.
ReplyDeleteI talk to myself all the time, well sometimes it's to myself and sometimes it's to whatever higher power is out there. I think it could mean I'm kind of a nutcase, but I've done it all my life and I don't think I'm gonna stop. I keep myself pretty entertained too. :-)