ANOTHER Baby on The Way!

I always knew I wanted to be a mother, so I wasn't even a little surprised that I gave birth to four of the most beautiful and intelligent beings on the planet (I know I sound prejudiced but I'm just being honest).

Though I never thought far into the future about being a grandmother, sooner than I might have imagined, I became one, again and again and again. I now have TEN grandchildren and TWO great grandchildren.

Just recently I discovered our family would be expanding AGAIN with ANOTHER great grandchild, and as I sat in the living room yesterday that belongs to one of my granddaughters (the granddaughter who is pregnant), along with her sister and one of my daughters, the conversation naturally veered toward pregnancy.

At one point, my daughter and my non-pregnant granddaughter discussed their desire to have a baby. They both said they wanted to get pregnant within the next year! We're going to need an embassy to hold all of us pretty soon.

As I look at my staggeringly deflated monetary resources, I've decided I'm going to have to come up with more creative gifts. I generally crochet an afghan for each new baby. I'm also trying to crochet hats and scarves for the younger grandchildren before winter. My fingers are going into overdrive!

Fortunately, my daughter owns a baby and children consignment boutique (they also sell wedding gowns) where clothes are in near-perfect condition and cost only a fraction of the original price. Guess where I'll be buying my baby items – Briella's Boutique in Savoy, Illinois!

But now I'm concerned about where we can meet for celebrations. Anybody know of an embassy I can rent for cheap?

Nolan And The Poo Poo Cocks

 As I've mentioned before, my grandchildren (and their parents before them) supply me with endless laughter. From what they say to what they do to how they perceive the world, I never lack for blog subjects.

So here we go again.

Before I get into the Poo Poo Cocks story, I want to relate what happened this morning.

As those of us who have children know, kids love repeating what they hear other people saying, even if they don't understand why they're saying it. Just this morning, Audrey (5) and Nolan (3) were dressed for a wedding and I told them they both looked beautiful. Just then their dad walked into the room and Nolan said, "Don't even say it, Dad. I know what you're going to say."

When Nolan didn't elaborate and nobody said anything, I asked Nolan, "What is your dad going to say?"

And he responded, "I don't know." Apparently the don't-even-say-it conversation was the whole point and required no further explanation.

Speaking of points, the point of this blog follows:

I was sitting on my bed one evening when my grandson, Nolan, walked into the room and said, "I want poo poo cocks."

Being the wise grandma that I am, I thought that sounded a lot like Cocoa Puffs (grandmas are so smart), but I didn't know we had Cocoa Puffs, and besides, I wanted to hear him say it again, so I asked him to repeat himself. "I want poo poo cocks."  Yes, this is the same little guy who wanted a Poppochino (read that blog by clicking the link).

I was surprised that my grandson, who always asks for Crunch (Cinnamon Toast Crunch) every morning even liked Cocoa Puffs, so I searched the pantry and there it was – a brand new box of Poo Poo Cocks.

Now I want you to picture me with my eyes searching the sky as I tap my chin with my finger. Wonder if these blogs will be around when my grandchildren become teenagers. I would love to present these blogs as historically accurate accounts of their lives as seen through the eyes of their grandma.

I just hope I'm around long enough to enjoy watching their reactions.

If you want to read more "funny things that kids say," check out these books:

(photo is of Audrey and Nolan)

Who Wants a Poppochino?

What? You never heard of a Poppochino? Sounds like… That's right! – a frappuccino, but…

Let me explain.

Before I explain, though, I have to tell you about how much my grandson, Nolan, LOVES coffee. He loves the taste of coffee so much, in fact, that he will drag chairs to the counter or table if he finds an unattended cup sitting on it, and he will sneak whatever coffee he finds wherever he finds it.

What's funny about his love for coffee is that he is not yet 3 years old. Everybody thought he liked only his mom's coffee, because Mommy puts lots of sweet additives into hers, but we have found him sneaking into Daddy's office to drink Dad's BLACK coffee, too.

Every once in a while, when my daughter, Brittney, and I run errands together, we take along both of her children. Nolan, as mentioned above, will soon be 3 (in a couple of days – Audrey is 5 and a half).

What usually happens just before we run our errands is that we stop off at a Starbucks or at Barnes and Noble and order two caramel frappuccinos. Once, as a special treat, Brittney ordered a strawberry frappuccino for Audrey and Nolan to share.

Audrey and Nolan loved those special drinks and, as you might expect, want them whenever Brittney and I order ours now. The other day, as we pulled up to the Starbucks window to order our frappuccinos, Nolan called out from the back seat with a slight whine in his voice, "I want a Poppochino too!"

So now, every time Brittney and I run errands and order our frappuccinos, we have to order a Poppochino too.

Photo is of Audrey and Nolan in dress-up (sepia).

Inside Jokes

You see people laughing at things you don't understand and you wonder what's so funny. Things you don't find funny have some people holding their bellies with laughter while you sit there wondering about their sanity.

What you probably don't know is that they're laughing at an inside joke.

Just the other day my grandson, Kaden (5), was allowing his aunt Lindsey, my second oldest daughter, to apply suntan lotion to his skin. As they were standing in the park, a man walked by and said to one of his friends, "That's what I'M talking about!" And they laughed.

So Kaden asked Lindsey, "What's he talking about?"

To which Lindsey responded (because she obviously had no idea), "I don't know."

So Kaden said, "I don't think he knows what he's talking about."

And then Lindsey and I were laughing.

What the guy was probably talking and laughing about was a joke only he and his friends understood, an inside joke.

I don't know how it got termed "inside joke" – you would think it would be called a between joke, because it's a joke understood only between certain people. But the event reminded me of an inside joke shared by Lindsey, her brother, Greg, and their sister, Brittney.

One day, when they were on their way back from their dad's house (when they were young enough to live with me and visited him every other weekend), they had been sitting in the back of his SUV eating Milk Duds. One of the Milk Duds disappeared under Greg and, as he lifted up first one butt cheek and then the other, and couldn't find it, finally gave up looking for the thing.

When it was time to climb out of the SUV (an hour later), Greg climbed out of the back first, and when he leaned out, he heard his sisters burst into laughter. There, on his bottom, stuck on his shorts between his two butt cheeks, was the melted Milk Dud.

All you have to do is mention Milk Dud in front of any one of them and they fall apart laughing. Last weekend when Lindsey told Greg not to forget something, he said, "I'm on it like the Milk Dud that was stuck to my ass."

So any time you see somebody laughing and you don't understand the joke, it might not be because you're too stupid to "get it" – it might be because it's an inside joke.

Games, Quizzes, & Innovative Kids

When Brittney (my youngest daughter) was little, she made up games all the time, calling them things like Bo-Tec, Chee Toe, and other cute names. One in particular I remember had to do with placing paper towels all over the lawn and jumping from one to the other.

At times she conducted races with her doll where she would throw the doll across the room and try to outrun the doll. Don't laugh. She now owns her own business.

I think that when kids make up their own games and their own quizzes, they show creativity. And creativity is something I like to nurture. My daughter's creativity is now showing up in her children.

Recently Brittney's son, Nolan (who will be 3 in June), asked me if I wanted to play the Potty Pants Game. What? You never heard of the Potty Pants Game? You play it by setting up a bunch of small blankets on the floor, hop from one to the other, and, using your arms and legs, sing and perform the Hokey Pokey song. (If only I had thought to videotape that game).

I firmly believe that the ability to create is what contributes to the intelligence of a child in a very positive manner.

Speaking of intelligence (love these kinds of segues), did you know that the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) offers games and puzzles for kids? They can perform word finds, solve puzzles, break codes and perform aerial and photo analyses. The CIA also offers a "World Exploration" area. Who knew?

You do (visit the CIA by clicking on any of the links provided).

Another way to increase intelligence is by making up your own quizzes. You see quizzes in magazines and online all the time. But did you know you can create your own? You can, no matter how young or how old you are. But what fun are quizzes if you can't share them with people?

That's where Free Quiz Maker from ProProfs.com comes in handy. Not only can you create your own quizzes, you can also promote your ProProfs.com quiz on facebook, twitter, and youtube. They would be great for teachers, too, because you can design your own flashcards and share them.

This handy little quiz generator is quiz software that will enable you to create unique quizzes unlike anything anybody has ever created before. For example, I could design a family quiz entitled, "How Do You Play Bo-Tec?" Of course the quiz would be flawed because only Brittney would know how to play it. Or would she?

Twenty years from now I could show the quiz to Nolan and ask him how to play the "Potty Pants Game." Will he remember? Come to think of it, will I?

(By the way, if you become a master quiz maker, why not visit a Custom Web Development Company  and have them build a site devoted to your quizzes?)

Photo above is of Brittney holding Nolan with Audrey peeking from behind.

What's a Crapbox?

 We are not a family who swears. I raised my children to respect the English language and they all know that I ABHOR the "F" word – used alone or followed by "you". The repulsive and ugly word will not pass my lips.

Although I must admit, one day, in utter frustration, because I wanted my kids to know I was EXTREMELY upset, I uttered the offensive expression. My kids LAUGHED at me and said, "Mom, if you're going to use that word, learn how to say it correctly."

How can anybody not say that word correctly? It's truly ugly. I imagine "FU" might sound prettier if it was spelled like this: phucqueue. But it's not.

I bring up the "F" word only because I want to bring attention to the fact that cursing is not part of my vocabulary and it is not something I have taught my children.

However, kids live in a world filled with people who speak loathsome words, and we can't help but hear them spoken sometimes.

Well, yesterday, as Brittney (my youngest daughter) and I were having a cup of coffee, Audrey (her 5-year-old daughter) ran out of her bedroom, her face beaming with excitement. "Wanna see what I found in my crapbox?"

I looked at Brittney. Brittney looked at me. Our eyebrows crossed.

"What did you say, Audrey?"

"Come see what I found in my crapbox!"

"Are you saying crayon box?" We don't know why we asked her that – she's been speaking very clearly since before she was 2 years old, but we asked anyway.

"No, my crapbox."

Brittney and I were puzzled. As Audrey ran back to her room, thinking we were following her, I asked Brittney, "What's a crapbox? And where did she learn that word?"

So Brittney asked her why she was calling her box – that held miscellaneous items such as hair ties, crayons, and puzzle pieces – a crapbox. (Maybe the excitement was because Nolan, her little brother, had dropped a bit of his own "crap" in there – who knows).

Anyway, Audrey is an inventive little girl who has an imagination that allows her to gather information from various parts of her brain and create mysterious word combinations. Maybe somebody once told her to pick up all her crap and she assimilated the word into her vocabulary, because her only nonchalant comment was, "Oh, that's just what I call it."

Brittney told Audrey to call it her miscellaneous box, which she couldn't pronounce.

Photo above is of Nolan and Audrey hiding in the couch cushions.

When Little Boys Want To Marry Their Mommies

 Growing up with only sisters, my experience with boys was limited to what I witnessed in school or at family functions with my cousins.

And then I had a boy. Poor thing. He grew up with a mom who knew nothing about boys at all and, as time went by, he had to share me and his home with three other girls.

What I learned about being a mom to a boy was that boys are very protective of and affectionate with their moms. And moms love their little boys.

Don't get me wrong. Moms love their little girls too, but their relationship with their sons is different. Simply because they are different, boys are fun to watch.

When my oldest daughter had her own son 17 years ago, she was still married. Travis was the youngest of three with two older sisters.  Keeley called to tell me about a conversation she had with Travis.

In his most loving voice, Travis told his mom that he was going to marry her when he grew up.

"You can't marry me, Travis. I'm your mother. You can't marry your mother."

Travis was not happy with that response.

"But I want to," he insisted, as if want alone would change her mind.

"Well," Keeley said, as she attempted to ease his obvious pain, "You can't marry me, Travis, but you can marry somebody who reminds you of me, somebody who is like me, who looks like me, who acts like me, who talks like me, and who walks like me. How does that sound?"

My grandson considered his options, probably running through his mind as he thought of all his potential female companions. Finally his eyes lit up. "I know!"

My daughter looked into his eyes.

"I can marry Grandma!"

Oh, we are such bad parents – Keeley laughed. I laughed when she told me.

Later that day, I visited my daughter and my three grandchildren, Amanda, Sarah, and Travis. I sat down on the couch and Travis made it a point to sit next to me. As Keeley watched from the kitchen, Travis discreetly raised up his arm and wrapped it around my neck.

And he melted my heart.

Since that day, I've been blessed with many more grandchildren, and I cherish each one. So Amanda, Sarah, Travis, Wesley, Jeremy, Taylor, Kaden, Zac, Audrey, Nolan, Ayla, and Billy - your G-ma loves you.

Pictured above are Wesley (on the left when he was about the age Travis was in this story) and Travis (on the right).