Prevent Car Accidents with the Bubble Rubber Bumper Buggy

If you believe that we hold within ourselves all of the answers to life's mysteries, I invite you to delve into the mind of my daughter, Lindsey, who has come up with a remedy to one of life's problems – a way to prevent car crashes.

Of every possible solution to the problem of auto crash prevention, I think she has come up with one of the most innovative and obvious answers to the problem – bumper cars.

I'm not talking about the supposedly street-legal bumper cars (yes they have them and you can find them at jalopnik.com) – I'm talking about old fashioned bumper cars – the fun crash-into-other-cars vehicles. But maybe a little bigger and maybe with an engine that runs on air. Oh, and with air conditioning and heat too.

After examining all of the positive aspects of using bumper cars, the only downside I can see is shopping, especially regarding food shopping – so I'm hoping somebody will construct a see-through bubble bumper top over the bumper car to prevent groceries from becoming tossed salads prior to getting home.

Imagine how different our lives would be without auto accidents! Daily commutes would be fun. We could exercise our stress release mechanism by crashing into the guy next to us over and over and over again until we've released pent-up stress from days, weeks, months, and even years before as we bang ourselves into a stress-free existence.

I can even see the commercial for it...

Announcer: The best stress relief program on the planet – bump your way to a stress-free commute with the Bubble Rubber Bumper Buggy (do not confuse with rubber baby buggy bumpers)!

Imagine driving your very own bumper car. Spin around in circles and bounce off the walls as you maneuver your way through traffic. Wheeee... Doesn't that sound like fun?

With bumper cars, we could actually enjoy what used to be mind-numbing exercises in patience. Remember when we sat in hour-long traffic jams, slamming our fists into our horns and cursing out stupid drivers who cut us off? Now we can use our cell phones without having to worry about causing crashes, because the whole point of riding in bumper cars is to crash into other vehicles without causing accidents.

And riding bumper cars would challenge us to make it into work before the boss got there. We could make a game out of it. Of course, lots of bosses never make it into work in the first place, because they're playing golf, so this game might be unnecessary. But it would be fun to try.

Or, we could stay on the road and work from our laptops.

Another benefit is the exercise we would gain as we stretched our muscles in an attempt to remain in our seats – much like that of people who use the Hawaiian chair shown on the Ellen Degeneres Show. (If you haven't seen it yet, watch the clip – you'll have to watch a commercial first, but it's worth it.)

Of course, construction workers would need to place bumper guards on the sides of the roads, but they would be safe, because bumper pads would surround their construction sites.

Naturally we would have to allow for police, fire, and medical vehicles, so we would have to construct special roads for them, possibly elevated above the bumpercar roads, allowing quick access to hospitals and government offices. But what's another couple of millions of dollars in taxes?

Two other problems Lindsey didn't yet address – getting to the airport on time and truckers jackknifing around us.

With the exception of those two problems, I think bumper cars are a great idea. Maybe, before actually purchasing them, we could use our existing vehicles by attaching different colors of bubbled rubber to the sides, front, and backs, colors like pineapple, peach, banana, caramel, chocolate, cinnamon, vanilla (I must be hungry – sorry).

I will leave you now to enjoy something edible as I ponder the solutions to the problems raised in this blog.

Disclaimer: my daughter and I come from a long line of inventive imaginative minds, the brains of which are sitting in examination jars held by scientists trying to research the link between creativity and delirium.

(Bumper car was borrowed from wikimedia.)

Because of YOU (my friends and family members)

Going through cancer is a journey I am traveling, but I am not traveling alone. Along with me for the ride are family and friends who offer me so much comfort, that even though exhaustion is my constant companion, the pain of needles is barely detectable.

Recently Associated Content had a call out for articles on things to be grateful for in 2009. When I thought about all the people who have rallied in support of me during my bout with cancer, I couldn't help but put in my entry, Thankful for Cancer – Thankful for You.

If you have journeyed with me through cancer, and even if you haven't, I invite you to read the article. That whole "blessing in disguise" comment is true. Cancer truly has been a blessing for me, because of the number of people praying for my recovery. What else explains a 4 cm. wide tumor shrinking to almost nothing in less than 3 weeks?

So what do you have to be thankful for?

My Philosophical Granddaughter

Young children ask questions. Parents and grandparents are supposed to answer them. For most of my life I have had to figure out ways to answer multitudes of questions asked by numerous inquiring minds from my children to my grandchildren to the children for whom I have provided care. Unfortunately, I sometimes have no answers.

I am ashamed of myself. How have I slid through life without knowing universal answers to philosophical questions?

In my attempt to answer these difficult questions, I try logic, memory, fantasy, and creativity, and when none of that works, I pray for miracles. Most of the time I jump online when I have to look for answers to simple questions like why bees buzz and how cotton becomes fabric. But the bigger questions leave me stumped.

I'm never prepared for the kinds of question for which no books or Internet sites provide answers. Just the other day my granddaughter Audrey, who turned 5 at the end of October, asked, "God made everything, so who made God?"

Words like "always was, always is, and always will be" didn't pop into my head. My brain, like Elvis, left the building as I searched in vain for a reasonable explanation.

Having never thought about asking that question myself, I hadn't a clue about how to answer it. The only thing I could think of that might appease Audrey was to tell her that since God made everything, God made Him (or Her) self, which implies of course, that He already existed if he had the tools to create Himself. But I knew that if I gave the response that God made Himself, Audrey would ask me how He made Himself, and I would be stumped again.

But I said it anyway. Quickly. Well, Audrey, since God made everything, I guess He made himself (and then – in my head – I said, please don't ask me to explain myself). Fortunately she didn't ask any more questions that I was unable to answer (she must be psychic), and I breathed a sigh of relief. But she frequently comes up with philosophical questions that leave me to wonder why I feel so inadequate when it comes to the big questions.

I should have been able to answer the God question long before Audrey asked it. So why didn't I ask it of myself years ago? If I had, I would already know the answer, right?

If life is eternal, and God made humans, what was He doing before He created us? Of course I'm thinking God would get bored in a universe filled with nothing but God. Then again, if God is everything, God is enough.

But we're talking about infinity and forever, or, as Buzz Lightyear might say, infinity and beyond. God is Spirit. Bodies are probably playthings to God, created to amuse Him as he watched our human antics and the foibles we made with the "gift" he gave us – free will.

As He portioned Himself out into millions of little beings, should He have known we'd get all caught up in being human to a point where we would forget we were spiritual beings inhabiting a body?

And I answer myself by saying, yes He should have known, because He is God.

But now I'm afraid Audrey will stop thinking of me as the all-knowing Grandma if she continues to ask questions for which I have no answers. What kinds of questions will she come up with later? How will I answer her (or any of my other grandchildren who think deeply about issues I can't explain)?

Does anybody know if Barnes and Noble carries a Grandmothers' Answers to Philosophical Questions For Dummies book? I think I'm going to need one.

By the way, had I Googled, "Who made God," I would have found some reasonable answers, so I guess I was wrong about looking up philosophical questions on the Internet. Answer abound everywhere about everything. God truly is everywhere.

Photo shows four of my grandchildren – Kaden, Audrey, Nolan (Audrey's brother), and Zac (Kaden's brother).

Me With Hair (I look like my mommy)

If you read My Bravest Blog Yet, you got the chance to see what I look like bald. Here is what I look like with a wig. Note the comparison between my mother and myself.

You'll have to excuse my pallor. Even though I slathered makeup on my eyes, I still look sickly – my mom doesn't. And that's how you can tell us apart. She's the healthy one. I couldn't even smile because of the sores in my mouth due to the chemo, so realize I'm just as happy as my mother. I just can't show it here.

My mom has maybe four gray hairs on her entire head. I now have none (hear that, Mom? none). The reason I know how many gray hairs my mother has is because I tower over this petite microscopic woman who stands at 5'2" and weighs approximately 8 pounds. I generally carry her around in my pocket and I frequently look down at the top of her head as I pet her.

OK, I'll stop. She's not that small, but I can pick her up with one hand wrapped around her waist and place her on my counter. She's a lot like The Incredible Shrinking Woman, played by Lily Tomlin several years ago. My sisters and I fear for her safety every time she goes into the bathroom. We'd hate to see her slip down the drain.

I promised to stop, and so I will. I just wanted to update everybody and let them see that I can look slightly human again.

Before I go, I'd like to give an update on my respiratory infection – I still have it, but my chest doesn't feel as tight today as it did yesterday. Soon I hope to be able to talk without coughing up a lung.

And now for a reenactment of Lily Tomlin's Edith Ann – spiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! And that's the truth.

Help for the Auto Repair Challenged!

The CHECK ENGINE light – how man times has your car sent you that message? What does it mean? And what do you do about it?

What – you think I know? Silly reader. I don't know. But I know somebody (or some place) that does. The fact that it is located more miles away from me than I would care to drive but that it's also on the Internet makes it easy to get to. Houston Auto Repair is now my Repair Pal.

Before I go any further, let me explain to you what I know about cars: they provide transportation from point A to point B. I hate stereotypes, but I can't deny my complete lack of knowledge when it comes to cars and car repairs. I know NOTHING about cars.

In my defense, I've met guys who knew nothing about cars, too. Like the guy who told me that the problem with one of my cars was its Cadillac converter. And I thought, WOW, I didn't know it had that function. Silly guy. He was trying to impress me and even I knew he was talking about the catalytic converter. But that's it. I know my car has an engine, because I have had to replace those amazingly expensive parts not once, but TWICE. And I know about transmissions, because I have had to replace that extraordinarily expensive item once.

But let's go waaaay back to my first car. It blew. Completely. I was a teenager who knew less about cars then than I do now. And what did my father say? "When's the last time you put oil into it?"

"Oil? You have to put oil into it?" Apparently there are some things my father thought I was born knowing. The car maintenance gene, however, did not get transferred to me.

Having said that, I do know some things, and what I don't know, I usually depend on the experience of service techs to teach me when I take my car in for repairs and oil changes. Which makes me an easy target.

BUT I am smart, and I love to research, and, thanks to my love for research, I now have access to LOTS of technical support via my Repair Pal!

What's a Repair Pal, you want to know? Glad you asked.

When a repair tech tells me I need a tune up, I can consult my REPAIR PAL to get the information I need about what exactly is involved in a tune up.

And if I want ratings and reviews of cars made between 1990-2001 I can start by checking out this Acura Integra, where I can also read questions and answers about common problems and learn about which cars were recalled or issued TSBs (Technical Service Bulletins – and you thought I didn't know what that was).

I also know more about oil changes and filter changes. The Auto Repair Encyclopedia even lists the mileage at which you should check for scheduled maintenance, and in its "How To – Helpful Hints" section you can read about why your engine knocks or pings and why your brakes squeak.

Lots of recommendations and lots of questions answered. Ever wondered why your car leaks? Find information on how to recognize common and not so common leak problems. It even offers advice on how to replace your wiper blades.

Knowing what to say when I bring my car in for maintenance helps me look at least somewhat informed when it comes to auto repairs, so I can tell the technician what I THINK the problem is. And when the tech calls me over to show me what's under the hood, I can tell the difference between the oil receptacle and the place where the windshield washer fluid goes. This is a great resource for anybody who knows as little about cars as I do.

The next time you have to bring your auto in for repairs, don't allow unscrupulous repair techs to rip you off. Go to Houston Auto Repair first to educate yourself about YOUR car and to manage your maintenance ONLINE..

(Check Engine graphic above was borrowed from Houston Auto Repair's web site.)

FUN and FUNNY games!

I had to tell my kids this year that we were going to have to cut back on gifts for Christmas. Money has been grim, so I've been looking online for family video games as gifts for my kids and grandkids. I used to give each person his or her own gift, but with four kids, three spouses, ten grandchildren, two more spouses, and two great grandchildren, I'm pretty much tapped out in the finance department, so this year, everybody gets a "family" gift. Well, except for the unmarried ones among the group.

Two of my kids have Wiis, so, not knowing which video games they already have, I thought I would let them pick out the one they want me to get for their family gifts, something that everybody in the family would enjoy playing. I found a great resource for VIDEO GAMES and this blog is my way of asking Greg (and his family) and Brittney (and her family) to click the link. Please tell me which game you want. They have lots of other games too, though, so if you want a Playstation III game or an XBox 360, I'll get you one of those instead.

And now a gift for Lindsey. I know, Linz, you already have my Christmas present, but this one is free and it's lots of fun. I think you'll enjoy it. And it fits in so well with why you're going to school.

Lindsey is my second oldest daughter who loved playing dress up games even when she was a baby. Every morning she went into my closet, examined my little scattering of shoes, and always picked out the same pair (I had only two classy shoe styles – she preferred the brown straps to my decade old black and gold 70's platform shoes). She would then gather her bracelets, necklaces, crown, and rings, and parade around the house in her pajama top and diaper. Very cute. Well, I just found the perfect online dress up game for her.

This online dress up game is fun and FUNNY! Well, funny for me – fun for Lindsey. You see, I have no fashion sense whatsoever, so when I tried to play dress up games, I lost miserably. Lindsey is going into fashion merchandising (she didn't get that talent from me obviously), so I'm sure she will do much better than I did. And it won't cost me a penny, because this Dress Up Game is free (click the link). She can even play it at work during down time (don't show this to your boss, Lindsey).

I even found a game I like to play (I love skills games and brain games – they have both, and LOTS more). You can find so many games on this site.

Keeley and her family don't have a computer, so I'm saving this blog for her when she makes trips to the library (do they let you play games at the library?) – if so try any of those links above.

While I wasn't necessarily looking for anything specific for my parents or siblings, I came across something I know one of my sisters will LOVE. I can't tell you why. No, I'm not trying to be evasive. Let's just say that Cindy has been setting up a web site that concerns beauty, and I found something she may want to use to connect to her site that offers beauty information for her visitors. Cindy, check out this BEAUTY INFORMATION site – they offer skin care analysis, hair care consultation, a fragrance finder, and even (you know I love this) a beauty horoscope. Plus they offer expert advice, so I think it will make a great link for the site. I promise to tell everybody the name of her site when it is up and running. For now, though, it's a secret.

That was my "hook" to get you to come back to my blog. Will it work? I hope so.

Halloween TRICK or Treat? (Don't Try This At Home)

When I was growing up, Halloween at our house was great fun, not just because it was Halloween, and not because we threw Halloween parties, but because my father handed out bags of treats – and tricks.

I would stand behind my father when he opened the door to welcome the little masked goblins, and wait to see the looks on their faces as Dad commanded them to say, "trick or treat" if they hadn't already said it. He refused to give anybody candy until they said those magic Halloween words.

What my dad did from that point on, though, probably scared the little trick or treaters and frightened their parents as well, because what Dad did was grab their hoard of candy from them – bag, plastic pumpkin and all – and just before he slammed the door in their faces, yell, "TRICK!"

Of course he always opened the door immediately and returned their treats, but the looks on the faces of those innocent little children was priceless. Their bodies never moved. They looked like a photograph frozen in time – in exactly the same position as when Dad first closed the door. Their parents stood at the end of the sidewalk in shock – another still photograph framed by the doorway – and Dad and whoever was standing at the door with him would bend over in hysterics.

I am always tempted to follow my father's lead and grab the bag of candy from some poor unsuspecting child, but these days you never know what awaits you at the end of the sidewalk. And so I just say, Happy Halloween and hand out treats.