Little Miss Contest

Even though once upon a time, I was in one, I don't particularly care for them now. I'm talking about beauty pageants. 

Why? Because I believe they're rigged. 

Why? Because the one I was in was rigged. And because the one my granddaughter was in this morning was probably rigged as well.

I say that because the one I was in (half a century ago) was completely political. The ONLY reason I was in it was because my mother thought that by entering me, she would be building my self esteem.

I was terrified.

When the finalists were called, as the judges sat in front of the onlookers, a lone voice called out from the back of the room to tell the judges they missed one. He then named the contestant the judges missed, which was interesting considering all the judging was done right in front of us and he had nothing to do with the judging. Well lo and behold, guess who won that contest? Yep, her, the named one. (I was third runner-up.)

Well, in the contest that was held this morning, my little granddaughter's parents didn't enter her in EVERY portion of the contest the pageant offered. So she didn't win "prettiest smile," because only the people who paid $30 could participate in that part of the contest. She also didn't win "best personality" because my daughter and son-in-law didn't put an extra $30 in for her to win that portion of the contest. 

Nor did my granddaughter win "prettiest hair" or "prettiest attire" because her parents paid only the $45 entry fee. Since everybody else in her age group paid for their children to enter every category, everybody but my granddaughter won and my granddaughter came in last place.

I know I'm the prejudiced grandparent, but come on! Look at her. Isn't she beautiful? I told her that next time she wanted to enter a beauty pageant, Grandma would help her with the talent portion, just like the Grandpa helped Olive in the movie, "Little Miss Sunshine." I can't wait!