Friday, April 8, 2011

The Grownup Table – Day #7 from the A-Z Challenge

Growing up, my sisters and I weren't allowed to sit at the grownup table. The first time I was invited to sit with the adults was after I had already given birth to my oldest daughter.

I was living with my parents when they called me to join them at the GROWNUP table. I panicked. Sitting with the GROWNUPS was my cousin, who was my age (his wife had also given birth that year – our babies were only 3 months apart), my aunt, my uncle, and my parents.

My discomfort was probably more than just a little apparent when I said NOTHING to ANYBODY the WHOLE TIME. I felt like an alien, who spoke a completely different language, dropped onto this planet and forced to communicate in the language of GROWNUP.

I was terrified. What if I said something stupid? What if nobody understood me? What if GROWNUP language was different from ORDINARY PEOPLE language? So I grabbed my baby and talked to her.

Years later, you would still find me on the floor playing with the babies (we have lots of them in our family). Out of habit, I tend to stick with the kids. Though I must confess, I'm now more comfortable with adults than I was years ago (took me over 50 years), and I can now speak to adults in coherent sentences.

As I end this blog, I have only one request for parents – please ask you kids to join you in adult conversations BEFORE they turn 18 – PLEASE!

And that completes Day #7 from the A-Z Challenge. Brought to you by the letter, G.

Previous A-Z Challenge blogs:

Amazon Hates Me – Day #1 from the A-Z Challenge

Bored – Why? – Day #2 from the A-Z Challenge

Craziness – Day #3 from the A-Z Challenge

When Your Daughter Develops, DON'T DO THIS! – Day #4 from the A-Z Challenge

Ellen – Day #5 from the A-Z Challenge

Family and Friends – Day #6 from the A-Z Challenge


  1. Wow! That's pretty extreme! I never even knew there WAS such a thing as a kids' table until I was an adult (with the exception of what I saw on TV and that didn't match what I experienced). Every family I knew ate together, even when there were loads of kids. I understand how it can affect you, though. If you don't get the chance to interact, it's hard to learn how.

  2. Your post made me laugh. I was the oldest in a slew of grand kids. I always got stuck at the grown-up table and all the other kids were at the kids table.

    I hated it. When I have a party, I have several tables around my great room and people can sit wherever they want. I like it better that way. Mixing the kids with the adults with the grandparents - giving everyone time to get to know the other.

  3. you're so sweet! every generation things change.
    my kids (7, 10, 12) think they are adult-table worthy and have no trouble talking to us but prefer to sit with their all-ages cousins and not have to act like adults.
    when I was younger we had the kid table, but it merged with the adult tables and another kid table formed =)
    great g post - good g day to you!

  4. I've never heard of this either. I can understand doing this on holidays when the big table is full but every day? Did your parents ever explain why they did it this way?

  5. I never cared about being at the grownup table. Me and my cousins had too much fun at our table. lol For my family it was a holiday thing only. Me and my cousins at one table, "the big kids", while my sister and other cousin had their own table, "the little kids." My kids have always been with the grownups though and can converse intelligently. :-)

  6. Fortuantately I never had to deal with the kid's table except at Christmas.
    Hope you're enjoying the Challenge!

  7. Just discovered your blog through the Challenge, it's great to meet you!

    Even though my family didn't have separate tables, I was the youngest in my family and never really felt like I had anything interesting to say compared to my older siblings. I can relate to your post as I still tend to revert to those feelings at large gatherings. I am usually the quiet one!

    Good luck with the rest of the Challenge!

  8. Cute post! I remember being old enough to sit at the GROWNUP table and talk with my mother and grandmother. Until then I was sitting in the living room with the guys of the family. LOL

  9. Good idea for a post. Interesting how families treat this so differently!

  10. At my house growing up, the dining area wasn't very big so the kid's table ended up in the living room, totally segregated. It was definitely a treat to be at the grownup table, closer to all the food!

    Popping in by way of the A-Z Challenge. I’m blogging at:
    Write, Wrong or Indifferent
    Marie Anne’s Missives
    In the Garden With Sow-n-Sow
    Every Day Crochet

  11. I think I'd still like to sit at the kids' table. :O)

    My “G” post is right here:

  12. At my grandparents house there was kids table and a grownup table for holiday meals. It was always fun at the kids table so I didn't mind but I don't segregate in my own home. We all sit together as much as possible. Popping in by way of the A-Z Challenge. I’m blogging at:

  13. The Mom from HellApril 21, 2011 at 6:12 AM

    Where did you live? Who was your mother? It wasn't me. We never had a grown up table until we had too many grandchildren to fit around our kitchen table. Is this called poetic license? I know my memory is bad, but it's not that bad. I had to go to your sisters and ask them if I suddenly had gone crazy. This had to happen in your dreams and not in reality.