Misunderstandings – I KNOW You Didn't Say What I THINK You Said

Last month, one of my granddaughters (Audrey) told her mommy that every month at school she had to go to the ambulance.

Ambulance?

Brittney and I looked at each other. What word sounds like ambulance that would require kids in school to visit every month? After a while, we figured it out. Audrey meant, "assembly."

Audrey is very much like her mother. Once, while we were having dinner at a restaurant, Brittney's doctor called her to tell her that she needed a procedure. Brittney, who was newly pregnant at the time, told everybody seated at our table that she needed a c'apostrophe. I thought she said apostrophe. And I remembered thinking, "Hmm, she needs a punctuation mark. Curious." Knowing how I cannot always hear things correctly, I asked her to repeat it.

She said c'apostrophe again, and I thought, "What procedure sounds like c'apostrophe?" After a while, as I scanned my brain, sifting through all of the medical terminology I learned decades ago, Culposcopy came to mind. Yes, I was right, c'apostrophe = culposcopy.

Misunderstandings are commonplace with my family and friends, and they are often funny. For instance, one day, when my dear friend Denise said something I knew she couldn't possibly have said, I said, "I KNOW you didn't say what I THINK you just said.

We roared with laughter when I was finally able to tell her that what I thought she said was that I was her, "number one bitch." What she actually said, though she couldn't remember what she said by the time I was able to tell her what I THOUGHT she said, was not at all what I heard. For the rest of the day we called each other our number one bitch.

Conversations, lyrics – anything with words – somehow get twisted as they run from my ear through all the synapses in my brain. I never hear correctly what others are saying. If you say, "I hear a rustling in the leaves," for example, I'm likely to hear, "Aristotle wears briefs."

Reminds me of the time when everybody swore they heard the "F" word in the song, "Louie Louie" – I never heard it. I heard gibberish. Even when everybody said, "There. Right there! Hear it?" Um, no.

Now, of course, everyone knows that the word that was supposedly in there, never was anyway. So ha ha to all of you who said you heard it! Liars!

My kids are always telling me I need a hearing aid, and perhaps I do. But THEIR kids have been involved in numerous misunderstandings, and – fortunately – (for me anyway) Grandma is around to catch their blunders and to record those blunders in my blogs.

I pay particular attention to unusual conversations children have with adults or other children.

Here are three blogs about misunderstandings:

Conversational Misunderstandings Between the Sexes is the story of two four-year-olds who demonstrate the age at which misunderstanding between the sexes begins.

Why It Helps To Clear Up Misunderstandings explains why it really helps to clarify what you THINK you hear when what you THINK you hear makes no sense or arouses in the speaker a reaction so wild you'll know you misunderstood.

And finally: Another Simple Misunderstanding

And that completes Day #13 from the A-Z Challenge. Brought to you by the letter, M.

Previous A-Z Challenge blogs:

Amazon Hates Me – Day #1 from the A-Z Challenge

Bored – Why? – Day #2 from the A-Z Challenge

Craziness – Day #3 from the A-Z Challenge

When Your Daughter Develops, DON'T DO THIS! – Day #4 from the A-Z Challenge

Ellen – Day #5 from the A-Z Challenge

Family and Friends – Day #6 from the A-Z Challenge

The Grownup Table – Day #7 from the A-Z Challenge

Happiness & Joy – Day #8 from the A-Z Challenge

Idiots in the Attic – Day #9 from the A-Z Challenge

Jokes Accidentally – Day #10 from the A-Z Challenge

The Kid That Wasn't Named Ker – Day #11 from the A-Z Challenge

Living Out of Suitcases – Day #12 from the A-Z Challenge