Showing posts with label peacocks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label peacocks. Show all posts

Friday, May 25, 2012

Help! I'm Being Bombarded With Hot Dogs!




Yesterday I drove to Danville, Illinois, with my youngest daughter (Brittney) so she could get her hair done. While her sister-in-law, Laura, highlighted and cut her hair, I watched her children (my grandchildren), Audery, Nolan, and Avery, as I awaited the arrival of their other grandmother who, when she arrived, would take them and her three other grandchildren, Noah, Isaiah, and Joshua (Laura's boys), with her on vacation to Indianapolis.

Brittney had brought along a bag of cheese popcorn, her only meal for the day so far. She asked me if I wanted some. After taking a bite of it, however, she discovered that it was actually spicy cheese popcorn. Not wanting to deprive her of her breakfast and lunch, I decided I would try just one. She handed me the bag to taste. Yes, a little spicy, but good. I asked Noah, who was sitting next to me, if he wanted to try it. 

But instead of asking Noah, "Would you like some spicy cheese popcorn," I asked, "Would you like a spicy hotdog?" 


Don't think about that for too long. I didn't even realize I had said it (as usual), but fortunately I have a daughter who pays attention to every mistake I make. Brittney noticed.

Had she not been standing next to me at the time, I might have questioned Noah's polite refusal as he smiled the kind of smile that said, wow, that was weird, but Brittney, always aware of my screw-ups, noticed immediately what I said and enjoyed bringing it to my attention.

On the way home, I said something else that ended up being hotdog instead of what it should have been, and we both laughed and discussed this strange oddity that has now, for reasons unknown, become part of my life.

WHY? OH WHY AM I FIXATED ON HOTDOGS? I don't even like hotdogs, unless they're grilled and covered with all kinds of toppings. And then I remembered that Brittney had bought me a hotdog at Audrey's practice game the night before. Yeah, that must be why I can't stop accidentally talking about hot dogs (roll eyes).

What is it with me and hotdogs, I wondered aloud as Brittney drove me home. And then I forgot about it until I arrived home. As serendipitous as it sounds ;) hotdogs again became the focus of my attention when I noticed I had received a message from Lindsey, one of my other daughters, asking me how long she should boil hotdogs since she was used to just grilling them and now had to boil them for children who apparently ate only boiled hot dogs.


Again, with the hotdogs!

STOP, Universe, I found myself screaming! Why are you slamming me in the head with hotdogs lately? Is some subliminal message hiding inside these hotdogs? And why am I now calling everything a hotdog?

My brain is flooded with images of hot dogs. I remember one of my grandchildren, Sarah, when she first visited me as a little girl after I moved into a manufactured home community. She noticed the shape of most of the homes and wanted to know why some people lived in cracker houses and others lived in hotdog houses.

Just this morning I received a message from a dear friend of mine who talked about George Bailey (from one of my favorite movies, It's a Wonderful Life). And what did George Bailey say every time he walked into the store after he said, "I wish I had a million dollars"? – you guess it – Hot Dog!

The informal version of the words, "hot dog," or "hotdog," according to the dictionary that came with my Text Edit program on my MacBook Pro, is that hot dog is (I would say "was" since I haven't heard anybody since George Bailey use the word in this manner) used to express delight or enthusiastic approval. It also means a person who shows off – as in one who performs stunts or tricks.


I think of my friend Katherine (God rest her soul) who would say to me, what do you think the Universe is trying to tell you? Well, Katherine, I've decided the Universe has fast-forwarded to the end of time and is now sending me weird messages that make no sense, like, "You must now eat hotdogs for the rest of your life," or "Start hoarding hot dogs." Maybe, if I think about this positively, the Universe is saying, "You will now be receiving a million dollars – hotdog!" (I kind of like that last one.)

But maybe it's just the wiring in my brain that's screwed up, because I confuse all kinds of items. Why else would I refer to a peacock as a penguin, the dishwasher as a microwave, and popcorn as a hot dog? Sometimes I wish I could upload a program to fix the problem. 

Then again, I'd miss out on so many blog opportunities, like the ones below:



Whatever it is, hot dogs became fodder for this blog, so thank you for visiting my hot dog (I mean my blog). 

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Peacocks are not Penguins

  I know. I know. The title should be obvious. Well, guess what. For me, distinguishing between the two is a MAJOR problem. Why? No, really – I'm actually asking you – Why? Because I honestly don't understand why I call peacocks penguins EVERY SINGLE TIME I talk about them.

Peacocks look NOTHING like penguins. The words don't even sound alike except that they both start with the letter, P. So WHY do I keep calling peacocks penguins?



The first time I admitted my confusion was in the blog, Penguins and Peacocks. I invite you to read about the first time I noticed this mistake.

A couple of weeks later, I had to post my Oops – I did it again! blog, because – again – I called peacocks penguins. (Again, WHY?)

This problem continued throughout that year and into the next (though I had to take a break to deal with cancer), but when summer neared its end, I had to post Why Why WHY Do I Keep Saying This? I'm serious – if you know the answer, PLEASE tell me.



And finally (finally, because I just don't take anyone to see the peacocks anymore, I wrote this blog, We're Gonna See Penguins? Would somebody PLEASE find the wire in my head that has become disconnected from my brain. I am NOT going to talk about it anymore. The blog says it all.

And that completes Day #16 from the A-Z Challenge. Brought to you by the letter, P.



Previous A-Z Challenge blogs:

Amazon Hates Me – Day #1 from the A-Z Challenge

Bored – Why? – Day #2 from the A-Z Challenge

Craziness – Day #3 from the A-Z Challenge

When Your Daughter Develops, DON'T DO THIS! – Day #4 from the A-Z Challenge

Ellen – Day #5 from the A-Z Challenge

Family and Friends – Day #6 from the A-Z Challenge

The Grownup Table – Day #7 from the A-Z Challenge

Happiness & Joy – Day #8 from the A-Z Challenge

Idiots in the Attic – Day #9 from the A-Z Challenge

Jokes Accidentally – Day #10 from the A-Z Challenge

The Kid That Wasn't Named Ker – Day #11 from the A-Z Challenge

Living Out of Suitcases – Day #12 from the A-Z Challenge

Misunderstandings – I KNOW You Didn't Say What I THINK You Said

Networked Blogs on Facebook



The Old and The Elderly – At What Age Do You FEEL Old?

Friday, September 10, 2010

We're Gonna See Penguins?

I took Nolan, my three-year-old grandson, to the part the other day and when I started getting bored because our "park" has only a merry-go-round (which I can't go on because it makes me sick), a teeter-totter, and four swings, I said, "Why don't we go find the peacocks?"

Well, that's what I intended to say. What I said, and what I ALWAYS say, was, "Why don't we go find the penguins?"

I don't know why I CONSISTENTLY make this same mistake. I didn't realize I had said penguins (AGAIN) until my grandson's eyes lit up. Surprised and happy, Nolan asked, "We're gonna see PENGUINS?"



I feel as if I should belong to one of those anonymous groups that meet for problems they can't control. Maybe, like alcoholism, my problem would be considered a disease, and I'm wondering if "ITIA", which I know sounds curiously close to idiot, is a disease that exists. (ITIA stands for Inability To Identify Animals.)

Maybe I'm the only one afflicted with this malady. Or maybe the synapses in my brain are hay-wired due to LACK OF SLEEP, INSOMNIA, and EXCESSIVE STRESS.

ITIA has been problematic for me for as long as I can remember. When my children were growing up, we sometimes visited the zoo and, peering into various cages, they would ask, as children usually do, "What is that?" I would have to run for the sign, because I might have warped their little minds if I had accidentally called a muskrat a giraffe.

As usual, when Nolan brought to my attention ONCE AGAIN my error in calling a peacock a penguin, my shoulders dropped as I let out a heavy sigh. And then I burst into tears, laughing at the absurdity of how I ALWAYS – EVERY SINGLE TIME – when I try to say peacocks, say penguins instead.



And now I'm afraid my poor grandson has caught my disease, because while we were looking for the peacocks, we saw the same white cat we always see when we search for the penguins. (I can NOT believe I just did it again – I meant peacocks.)

"Oh, look, Nolan, there's that white cat," I said.

"It's not a cat," Nolan told me, "It's a pig."

What defective gene did I inadvertently pass on to my grandson?

Maybe I should look into getting the National Geographic Encyclopedia of Animals.

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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Why Why WHY Do I Keep Saying This?

Today (and every day now that Audrey is in school), I take care of Nolan, who is three. He generally wants my undivided attention, because his usual playmate is gone, so I write only when I can sneak off to the computer (like now) when he's immersed in something (eating) or when we're outside in the back yard and I can sit with my laptop while he plays on the swing set.

We try to get outside at least once a day and I had asked him earlier if he wanted to go for a walk. Several blocks away from my home live some peacocks, but finding them is not always easy. So today (note the photo of the beautiful sky – can you see the moon?), I got out his clothes and asked him if he wanted to look for the penguins.

He was surprised and excited. "We can see penguins?" Normally I would have let that pass, because, well, kids often confuse words.

But no. Once again, for possibly the one thousandth time, I had told him we were going to see penguins when I meant to say peacocks. Why do I keep doing that? All the time! It makes absolutely no sense and it annoys me deeply!

I have already written about this problem HERE and HERE. What is it about my brain that CONSISTENTLY wants to call peacocks penguins? Can anybody help me out here? If brains are like computers, mine has a computer glitch with a "fatal error" notation that is in desperate need of repair. HELP ME before I start calling the psychiatric ward my home.

Excuse me, I have to get Nolan (who normally speaks very well but who today, for some reason, is having difficulty talking – oh, no, is he going to start calling peacocks penguins?) some pupcake pokey keggles after he eats his pubber jubby jamidge.

He was so flustered trying again and again to say Cupcake Pebbles cereal and peanut butter and jelly sandwich that he finally opened the refrigerator, pulled out some chicken nuggets, which he was able to pronounce very clearly, and asked if he could eat those instead.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Penguins and Peacocks



I was so excited to see penguins living down the street from my new home that I called all my friends and told all my family members about what I had seen.

Everybody always throws buckets of negativity on my news.

PENGUINS?! PENGUINS???? They snarled.

Yes, penguins, I insisted. Just a couple of blocks from my home live lots of penguins. And get this – there's even an albino penguin.

I'm sure at this point everybody was wondering just how that might look, because what I meant, after all, was peacocks, not penguins. It's just like when I call my dishwasher the microwave. I don't mean microwave. I just say microwave.

Reminds me of the time a friend of mine and I played hangman (see drawing). How could she not guess (it was so obvious) "potato couch"...

I think the synapses that make connections in my brain are cross-wired. I used to wonder why nobody understood me. Now I know.

Over the weekend I had the chance to visit a friend I hadn't seen in a long time (sadly, this is the way it is with ALL my friends). Barbara handed me a little gift, a penguin (see red arrow above), to remind me of the difference between that and a peacock. Just so happens she was the friend who caught my hangman mistake.

I should probably label all of my appliances too, so that I can relay the information correctly. 

By the way, though I tell everybody that I do, I really don't cook in my dishwasher. 
penguin